In a recent abstract published in Psychological Science, results from three independent studies showed that bragging elicits a negative reaction from those on the receiving end and yet, at the same time, cultural bias makes it more common and more acceptable for men to self-promote than women.
This finding resonates with me – in both my corporate career and entrepreneurial adventure. My discomfort with self-promotion (yes, bragging!) held me captive for years and prevented me from achieving the success I craved.
Now, being the She-EO of my business and my future, I can certainly empathize with my clients’ struggles to step into their uniqueness with confidence and promote themselves.
In the entrepreneurial world, being modest can sabotage your success. Modesty will not get you visible to your prospective clients and will prevent you from sharing your uniqueness with the world and having the impact you dreamed of having when you started your business.
To build a successful business, you need a strong brand (that would be your uniqueness) that your customers can immediately identify with. That’s what sets you apart from the competition. That’s what makes you the right choice, your solution the right solution, for your prospective clients.
You might have exactly what they need, want, desire and they’ll never find you if you downplay your uniqueness.
So, how can you, a female entrepreneur (She-EO) who’s uncomfortable with bragging, find the balance between self-promotion and the invisibility cloak of modesty? Here are a few suggestions to help you find that balance.
Give yourself permission to be uncomfortable – until you’re comfortable
Take incremental steps to gradually expand your comfort zone. Itty bitty, bite size changes over time will give you amazing results.
Start by receiving a compliment by merely saying “thank you!” When a colleague compliments you on a recent blog post, video or email campaign, or a client thanks you for helping them overcome a challenge, rather than deflecting the complement or downplaying your achievement, try saying “Thank you! I’m really proud of the results.”
If you’re business is prospering and a colleague asks you how you’re achieving such rapid growth, would you typically shrug it off to luck and quickly changing the subject? Next time, instead, answer honestly; “Thank you for asking – I’ve worked really hard to achieve this and it’s a great feeling.”
As simple as these examples are, they will help you overcome decades of societal pressure and conditioning.
Expand on this by thinking of situations or conversations when you’ve brushed off a compliment or recognition. Create a response that’s a bit of a stretch for you and then practice saying it out loud. With practice, you’ll gradually expand your comfort zone and have a repertoire of responses!
Share your knowledge
Do you struggle with talking about yourself? If so, here are some others ways to share your hard-earned knowledge.
When you’re in a workshop, training or conference, do you think of the instructor as boastful because they were teaching you something? Of course, not because they are an expert in their field.
Are you providing your audience (clients and prospective clients) with useful information, solutions and tools? Of course you are and that makes you an expert in your field. Your expertise, knowledge and solution is what they’re buying from you.
I’m not suggesting that you stand up and proclaim you’re an expert. Thanks to the internet and technology, there are several ways for you to establish your expert status and share your knowledge.
Blogs, videos, webinars and workshops are a few examples of how you can become highly visible to your prospects while sharing your knowledge.
An added bonus for utilizing these and other platforms is that your KLT (know, like and trust) factor gets a huge boost!
Show rather than Tell
To avoid coming off as too boastful, showing rather than telling is an easy way to re-frame how you talk about your uniqueness. Instead of claiming to be “great at fill-in-the-blank, share specific results you’ve achieved or one of your clients has achieved. Whether you’ve doubled your business growth in the last year or have a client who grew their email list by 5,000 by using your list-build strategies, sharing these tangible, measurable results will go a long way to making a lasting impression that reinforces what you help your clients achieve.
Also, sharing specific details is much more compelling and relatable than talking in broad, unsubstantiated statements.
Invite your clients to talk about you
Inviting your clients to talk about the results they achieved using your product/service is the number one tool for building social proof without feeling boastful. Choosing the right time, perhaps the end of project or coaching session, is ideal because your client is excited and delighted with the results.
I phrase my request something like: “If you’d be willing to write a brief statement or record of short video about the results you’ve achieved now that you’ve completed my Uniquely You Business Success Formula, I’d love to showcase you on my website with your name, picture and a link to your website.” I’ve yet to have someone say “no thank you” to free advertising!
If your client feels that writing a testimonial will be burdensome, then share with them the 3-question template: What was it like for them before working with you? What did they learn from working with you or utilizing your product? What is it like for them now – their new reality?
Another approach you can use is to ask your client to complete a wrap-up questionnaire. Not only will this provide you with worthwhile feedback on your product/service, you’ll also find valuable testimonial-worthy statements.
An added bonus is that the words and phrases your clients use are pure gold because that’s the wording you want to use in your marketing material. (To learn more about speaking the language of your prospective clients, you’ll definitely want to attend my February Business Success Masterclass: Attract More Clients by Speaking Their Language: 3 tips that will boost your Client Attraction Factor – watch for details and registration information.)
Of course, always get the approval from your client before publishing.
As you collect testimonials, display them proudly on your website, marketing material and social media posts.
By following these four suggestions, you’ll be exercising and strengthening your self-promotion muscle without bragging or being boastful. You’ll find that with practice, you’ll be comfortable asking for and receiving recognition and praise. You’re worth it. You’ve earned it and you’ll get noticed by the people you most want to reach.
