The Ultimate Relationship – Insider secrets to creating and sustaining the most important relationship in your life – Part 3

Congratulations on creating your picture and experiencing the feelings you defined in Part 2. Well done – and now it gets really exciting! Click on this link to read the previous posts in this series.

In this post, it’s time to start living what you learned in Parts 1 and 2. Integrating your new, ultimate relationship into your inner dialog is an exercise in vigilance and dedication.

Acknowledging the fact that our inner dialogue runs with and without our attention requires us to tune into the conversation (I think of it as my head committee) and pay attention to what’s being said so that we can change the message. When we are cognitively aware of the thoughts, then we can use our intelligence to change our thoughts. Replacing is the crux of this final step.

Think of it as tuning in and replacing – tune into the message, and replace it with a new thought. It is not possible to turn off the 24/7 dialogue, so let’s have it play messages that are supportive, encouraging, even fun and lighthearted. What a concept!  Is it one you can embrace? If so, then here are some examples to get you started.

When my inner critic said, “You idiot – what’s wrong with you?”

My ultimate relationship responded with, “Congratulations for demonstrating that you are human and make mistakes. You’ll do better next time.”

Inner Critic: “You know you won’t stick with it, so why even start?”

Ultimate Relationship: “I may not have completed things in the past. My past is not my future. I know more now and have a new level of dedication and determination to complete what I start.

Inner Critic: “Exercise is not fun; you’ll get all sweaty, feel uncoordinated and struggle to keep up.”

Ultimate Relationship: “Let’s find some type of exercise you enjoy and that will make you feel lighter, like water aerobics or swimming. You’ll be wet, and no one will know if you’re sweating.

Inner Critic: “When you go to that networking event, you know everyone will want to sell you something.”

Ultimate Relationship: “You have no idea who will be there. It’s not about how they make you feel, it’s about how you make them feel. Share your charisma and zest for life – and you can leave at any time.

Now it’s your turn.  When you hear the inner critic, note what is being said and counter that message with a message from your ultimate relationship.  I’d love to read the messages your ultimate relationship is sending you. Post your thoughts and share your inspiration in the comments below.

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Quote to ponder:

“When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier.” – Diane Von Furstenberg


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Question to Ponder:

How will you reward and celebrate your ultimate relationship?



Author: Susan Bock

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