Welcome back! If you have been following this series of “Developing Your Self-Muscles” you have likely to at least have thought about how you can improve yourself, and those who have participated in the assessment and aerobics are experiencing phenomenal change in their lives. If you need to catch up on the last two blogs, you can access them at http://www.susanbock.com/blog.
Here are a few more tips (provided by Mark Tyrrell) for you to consider as you create your self-muscle routine:
#1. Self-belief is learned. Your level of self-belief isn’t set in stone. Remember, you were born into this world with no sense of what you could or couldn’t do. Then, bit by bit, life started to teach you to limit yourself. A very young child doesn’t say: “I’m not the kind of person who could…” They haven’t yet learned to limit their own horizons.
One of the first steps is to re-examine and discard many of the limiting ideas you have about yourself; beliefs that you’ve collected along the way and are limiting you.
#2. Shut down the negative inner voice. We all have one and it’s time to let it go. When you start to doubt yourself, stop and listen, for a moment to that little negative inner voice. Whose voice is it really? A parent’s, old school bullies? A collection of many different voices from different times and people? One thing’s for sure; that little inner self-critical voice wasn’t yours originally. It may masquerade as belonging to you now, but it doesn’t really.
Tell yourself: “This is not my true voice!” Then start to challenge it, and change it.
#3. Turn a weakness into a strength. Dumbo, that adorable little elephant with the huge ears, was humiliated by his ears. He hated them at first. With great effort, he came to use them, to fulfill his destiny, by changing his attitude.
When we focus on what is not right about ourselves rather than what is, we miss opportunities for self-belief. Self-belief has a dual meaning. First, it can be used as a statement “I believe in myself.” Equally important is the underlying message – “I create my beliefs.” Many of us have ‘borrowed’ the beliefs’ of others that may not be healthy for us today.
Take any negative belief you have about yourself and creatively flip it so that it becomes, in its place, a positive resource – think: ’ears/Dumbo‘. You’ll find this exercise fun to do.
#4. Develop your ‘super powers’! Think of the typical powers of the more popular superheroes and write them down before you start your day. They may be such things as super speed, the ability to climb walls, flight, x-ray vision…whatever. Why do I suggest this? Because ‘priming’ your mind with qualities and positive characteristics can actually determine your behavior.
Not that you’ll start flying to the rescue of stranded citizens, but the pattern of superhero powers is one of ability, courage, and competence. In one study, people who were asked to write down as many superhero powers as they could think of were more likely to give to charity months afterwards. The pattern of giving to charity is that of being able. Prime your mind with ‘being able words’ before you start each day.
As well as superhero powers, write all kinds of other positive characteristics (whether you think you have them or not). Do this before you leave home. For example, I might write:
• Quick wittedness
• Sex appeal
And so on. I’m not just asking you to focus on your own present or even future qualities here, but just on the words. Take a few moments writing them down each day, then a few moments scanning your list (it doesn’t matter if it’s a similar list each day). Reflect upon what each word means to you. You’ll be amazed how doing this will powerfully prime your unconscious mind.
#5. Be your own motivational coach. If you notice doubts rearing their ugly heads, imagine you (the clear-headed part of you) are the coach and the anxious part of you is the person you need to talk to.
Think what you would say to someone you really believe in if they started showing doubts. Sit down and say those same things to yourself. So if you are about to go for a job interview and you ’hear yourself‘ starting to express doubts, take a few moments to sit down, close your eyes, and coach yourself:
“Look, you can do this! It’s natural to feel a little anxious, but that just means you care about what you’re doing! You’ve got all the relevant experience and qualifications! Now get in there and stop whining! Even if you don’t get this job, you’re going to make me proud by giving it your best shot!”
#6. Create a powerful vision of yourself. Get into the habit of sitting down, closing your eyes, and watching yourself behaving decisively, calmly, and strongly. This powerful visualization exercise means you can learn from yourself how to be confident, have self-belief, and behave in ways that maximize chances of success. Imagine you are viewing yourself on a TV screen. The ‘you’ in the screen is showing the you watching how to act with self-belief. The more you do this, the more you’ll find that you’ll quite naturally start to become like the ’you‘ in the movie.
Yes, this is a workout that can change your life and just as when you are exercising the muscles in your body, it takes time and consistency to see and feel the results of your hard work.
My closing words for you are “You are so worth it!” Take charge of your self-muscles and take charge of your future. It’s just around the corner!
If you would like additional information on this fascinating subject, please contact me at http://susanbock.com/contact/